• Having trouble reaching your goals?
• Concerned “something” seems to be blocking your way?
• Constantly doing things you know are not helpful/productive?
• Not doing (or avoiding) some of the things you know you should be doing?
You may be a victim of self-sabotage… But WHY on earth would you want to sabotage yourself? That’s a complicated question with a very simple answer… Because your mind is wired that way: Sabotage is an automatic response of the subconscious mind.
Here Are 7 Proven Ways to Spot and STOP Self-Sabotage:
1. Face Your FEARS
Problem: Do you worry a lot about the future and what “might” happen? Are you thinking about your fears (and what you don’t want) so much that you take no action because of what might occur?
Action: Put 100% of your focus on the present moment and what you want. You can’t control or predict the future or other people’s actions but you can control what you choose to do right now. Courage is not bred of fear or fearlessness but rather by the unyielding embrace of a calling that is far greater than fear. Connect with your “WHY” – your calling that is greater than your fear – and you will move easily through and past your fears.
2. Eliminate Problem-Gazing or Procrastination
Problem: Do you focus most of your time and attention on what is not working (or not right)? Do you talk on and on about your problems to anyone who will listen? Begin to notice how your language pre-determines your outcomes…
Action: Ask yourself a new question: “What can I do differently in order to have the result that I want?” Or “what is going right?” Notice all the things, no matter how small, that are working – write them down daily. The quality of your questions affects your decisions. The quality of your decisions affects your actions. The quality of your actions affects the quality of your results and ultimately your life. Asking yourself productive questions is the first step toward changing your destiny.
3. Rebuild Self-Esteem and Confidence
Problem: Do you minimize your accomplishments, criticize yourself and have difficulty accepting compliments? Do you obsess about the past, think of yourself as a failure or feel success is too hard or not possible for you?
Action: Limiting beliefs are predominately unconscious – they influence what we consider to be ‘normal’ and ‘possible’. Start to become aware of all thoughts that do not serve/empower you to achieve your goals. It is possible to change these thoughts by repeatedly engaging your frontal lobe – the home of intention, decision making and inspiration. However, unless we do this repeatedly for at least 21 days, we are destined to repeat the past because it has been proven the nerve cells in the brain that fire together wire together. There are audio programs which make it simple and easy for everyone to re-write negative conditioning and make positive changes to unconscious default settings using a simple relaxation technique. I highly recommend looking into these if you want to move beyond your past and perceived limitations and begin living the life you were meant to live.
4. Quit Comparing Yourself to Others
Problem: Do you constantly compare yourself to (or feel you’re not meeting the expectations of) others?
Action: There is little to be gained by comparing yourself to others. The only real measure is how you fair against your own personal best. If you constantly ask more of yourself, make small shifts in your thinking, expectations and results – you can make massive shifts over the long term. Rome wasn’t built in a day – neither were you! Forget what others think and forget what you have previously expected of yourself. Compete with your own personal best and as you improve your thinking, your future will transform.
5. Take Your Life In A New Direction – Set Some Goals
Problem: Are you wandering aimlessly? Do you have goals? Are they clearly written down? Do you make the common mistake of worrying about “how” you will achieve them?
Action: The mind is a natural goal seeking mechanism – our physical brain and nervous system form a kind of machine – a ‘servo-mechanism’. In our conscious mind we decide to set a goal. Once we set a goal, our subconscious mind takes us to that destination – acting like a guided missile or a plane on autopilot. Too many of us get limited in our goal setting by the constraints of our own imagination. We would all like to make an extra $10,000 a year but we have no powerful, compelling reason ‘WHY’. What exactly would you do with another $10,000? That is the critical question to ask. Connect with ‘WHY’ and the ‘how’ will take care of itself.
6. STOP Running Away or Using Avoidance Tactics
Problem: What are you most afraid of – failing or succeeding? Sabotage most often stems from the belief that you will fail if you attempt something uncomfortable, difficult or risky.
Action: There is no such thing as “failure”, only feedback. It isn’t about assigning blame or beating yourself up – it’s about being responsible for your response and deciding how best to move forward to attract the results that you want. Setbacks occur – they are part of the learning process. Nothing was ever invented or created by people who were afraid to try because they had previously “failed” at some endeavour. Look at any successful person from history and you will find a person who continued to try and who refused to believe that their past would foreshadow their destiny. Your biography does not pre-determine your destiny – your past has absolutely no bearing on your future but if you continue to do what you have always done then you will get what you’ve always got! Make a decision and take action today…even if it is only a small step forward.
7. Cultivate Passion and Purpose
Problem: Do you sometimes feel that you have no reason for being? Have you lost your sense of purpose? Do you miss feeling truly passionate about something or someone?
Action: Isn’t it always easier to perspire when you are inspired? We all deserve to live inspired, abundant and purposeful lives, regardless of our upbringing or the significant emotional events that we have encountered in the past. “Imagineering” will allow you to create a vision that is so real, vibrant and compelling that you cannot continue to merely sleep through your life. It’s a wake-up call – to open your eyes and realise that you can see, do and have more than you ever thought possible. Take the time now to re-discover what you are truly passionate about – it will ignite both your mind and your soul.
In summary, some of the most common forms of self-sabotage are habits because they are deeply ingrained behaviours that take time to establish or eliminate. In the 1960’s, Dr. Maxwell Maltz discovered that it took 21 days for amputees to cease feeling phantom sensations in their amputated limb. From further observations he established that it actually takes 21 days to change or create a new habit.
Do yourself a favour and identify today which forms of self-sabotage are holding you back from having the lifestyle of your dreams. Make a plan on paper – specific decisions and actions that you can take to move forward every single day for the next month. Track your progress each day and find someone to hold you accountable to your plan, actions and results. If you want to know more about re-writing negative conditioning from the past -visit our website and take your first step toward becoming even more successful!